When you’re a proud new cat-parent of the cutest bunch of fluff in the city, it’s hard not to share the odd Instagram isn’t it? Gazing forever into those cute shiny eyes, those tiny fluffy kitten feet…
But wait… Woooaah, if you think you’re in charge — you’re, deluded. Yes. Let’s face it, he’s “The Boss” — and he’s got us exactly where he wants us. Holding the can opener.
Our feline overlords — You’re a slave to their whims. The 24/7 mouse wielding entertainment machine. The cat-cam installing super-protector and general concierge service. Yep, no matter how you look at it we’re totally under the thumb. El Presidente — He meows, we dance.
So, ‘Two-Legged-Cat-Staff’, there’s no type we’ve not met at Cat in the Flat. Crazy-cat-loving-ladies and gents, it’s time to take a long hard look in the mirror… at our top 4 most common Cat-Parent varieties:
1. The Under-the-Thumb ‘Employee’ aka The Cat Slave
The cat totally has the upper hand in this relationship. Every whim catered for. Every toy on Amazon has been bought, even the finest cat food in the land is not good enough for his highness. You’ll do absolutely anything for a cuddle — even if you have to catch the goddamn mice for him yourself.
2. Cross Species Adopter
Just like those shows where a tiger adopts a squirrel as one of their own cubs, you literally make no distinction between your four legged and two legged offspring.
Cat gets pocket money and a scooter for xmas just like the other kids. This is normal, right?
ScooterCat: Albert Baby Cat. Don’t feel bad, you’re in very good company! More amazing cross-species love stories here.
If cat is going to eat at the table then why not with a fork?
3. Presidential Bodyguard
If anything untoward ever happened to your furry superior, the universe would literally implode. Bullets would gladly be taken to protect the premier. So like any true Armageddon-ist all precautions are taken to protect against potential zombie uprisings, stray puppy love and the like, including security checks for all those entering the border (the front door). Level 1 security clearance given only to the most thoroughly vetted citizens.
4. Obsessive Over-Sharer
The day starts and ends with this furry face. The world entirely revolves around his fluffy exquisiteness, and rightly so. He’s clearly the most gorgeous creature ever to have walked the earth, and by jebus we’re going to make sure you know about it. Loyalty of friends can be assessed by their willingness to continuously ‘like’ the solid carpet bombing of social media that provides the minute by minute biography of this singularly majestic being. We know you love it really.
The mother load! — Cats of Instagram
So, it turns out our fellow cat lovers come in a few furry flavours. Maybe you’re one of them? I know we are. But which one? … Well, to be honest, probably all of them.
Stalk us on Instagram here 😉